Now What the Hell's Wrong With Them?
by Reala and Lindi
Summary: What would happen if all the characters in The Faculty were reversed? Well you can find out here! Very messed up fic by Ri and Lindi. Rated R for language. CHAPTER 2 UP
1. ChApTeR 1

Now What the Hell's Wrong With Them?

"The Faculty" Fanfiction by Ri and Lindi

Disclaimer: Neither Lindi nor Ri own anything to do with: "The Faculty."  It is not ours and we are not making any money off this; it is strictly for entertainment purposes.

A/N: This is a fic where all the characters' personalities are reversed and instead of the school being invaded by aliens, it's invaded by…well, you'll find out.

Chapter 1 

"Ok, ladies, let's try it again!  Ready?  1, 2, 3, 4, and - !" a cheer captain yelled to her squad, cueing the rest of the cheerleaders to join in.

"We've got the team!  We've got the coach!  We've got the spirit and we'll kick your rear ends!  Go team, go go go team!  Go Ryan, go go go Ryan!  Go Casey, go go go Casey!  Beat 'em up, eat 'em up!  Spit 'em out and knock 'em out!  Let's go team!  Rock our world and GIVE IT TO ME – NOW!" the girls chanted, leaping about, flipping, turning, and shaking what their plastic surgeon gave them.  One girl, obviously the captain, stood in front of the group with an angry look on her face.

"No, No, NO!  We've still got a block on that last word.  It's 'YEAH' not 'NOW.'  Ok; any questions?" 

"Um, yeah, Stokely?  Why is Ryan in the cheer before Casey?  I mean, Casey is the team captain, quarterback, _and _sex god of the school.  And who is Ryan anyway?" a redhead asked.

"Well, Karen, you know how they say 'save the best for last?'  That's why.  From the top!  1 and 2 and – "  Stokely looked onto her group, again surveying their progress, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

As the cheerleaders ended the cheer a second time, Stokely smiled slightly at the fact that her team actually got the cheer right.  

"Ok, ladies!  Now you just have to do that at the game tomorrow night.  So get lots of sleep after school today and tonight.  I'm sorry for making you come to a before-school practice, but it was necessary.  Goodbye!"  Her tone hardly reflected the 'good' in her parting words, but the squad obeyed and walked off the empty field.

Stokely hated before-school rehearsals as much as the next girl, but she was the captain and their squad desperately needed a strong leader.  She pulled her bag and purse off the sideline bench and slung each over their respective shoulder.  The first period bell rang as she walked off the field.

Being one of the most popular girls in school, Stokely wandered over to her big group of friends, consisting entirely of jocks and cheerleaders.  However, as she sauntered over, someone ran straight into her and nearly knocked her down.  "Watch where you're going!" she yelled coldly at the boy who had just dropped his thick books.

This particular kid a short, dark hair, dark eyes, and thick glasses.  He pushed the frames up onto the bridge of his nose as he stood up and dusted himself off.  "I'm sorry," he said apologetically.  "My fault."  He then stuck his right hand out in truce to the girl in front of him.  "My name's Zeke."

Stokely looked at Zeke's hand like it would attack her at any moment.  She wouldn't be caught dead conversing – much less shaking hands – with the likes of him.  He was a total geek; he even wore a vest over his plaid shirt.  She disregarded him quickly and again headed for her group.

"Have a nice day!" Zeke called after her and Stokely cringed.

_That was close, _she thought, ignoring the boy and immediately began her daily routine of flirting with the football players.  She noticed three girls were already hanging over the quarterback.  Of course, all of them were on Stokely's cheering squad. 

"I'm going to cheer for you, Casey."

"I hope you win!"

"Will you wave to me if you get a point?" the third said, obviously not understanding the rules of football.

The quarterback flashed a smile to his fans who sighed and batted their eyes.  "Come on, girls!" he said enthusiastically.  "There's enough of ol' Casey here to go around!"  The girls giggled and gave him pouty smiles.

The display was almost too disgusting to bear.  Stokely was _not_ pleased.  Being the captain of the cheerleading squad, she had first dibs on not only the football team's captain, but also the quarterback.  She was not going to sit back an watch her prospect be vandalized.  Putting on a friendly but threatening smile, Stokely flounced over to Casey and Co.

"Hello Casey.  Are Amelia, Kandi, and Remi bothering you?"

"Top of the mornin' to ye, wee lass.  How ye farin'?"

The three cheerleaders tittered with giggles until Stokely's threatening glare stopped them  "Oh, Casey, that is _so_ funny!  We need to talk."  He voice suddenly changed from overly cheerful to deadly serious and displeased.

Casey smiled.  "Why not?  I can spare a minute of my busy life for a pretty lady."  He reached out a hand and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Jerk," Stokely hissed, slapping his hand away.  Casey raised his eyebrows and turned to the cheerleaders next to him.

"Ladies, if you don't mind, I need to have a little…chat with Miss Stokely here," Casey said slowly, watching Stokely's face.  Once the three upset leeches known as cheerleaders had stalked off, Casey stepped closer to Stokely and lowered his voice.

"All right, Stokes, what gives?  Why did you just bust in here and chew me out in front of Emily, Kandra, and Rinee?"

"Their names are Amelia, Kandi, and Remi, jock brains."

"Whatever.  The point I'm getting to is: why?"

"Casey, Casey, Casey.  Haven't caught on yet?  Pity."

"What?  I wasn't doing anything!"

"Oh yes you were!  Fraternizing with underlings!"

"Huh?"  Casey's face held a blank, confused look.

Stokely sighed.  "Whatever.  Case, look, quarterback dates lead cheerleader.  If not, he dates another high-ranking cheerer.  Got that?"

"Yeah, but so what?  I can't help it if the girls can't enough of me!  I've got that…hmm…'sex god attraction' as they call it.  It's the pheromones I give off."  Casey then proceeded to make a muscle man pose.

Stokely shook her head and started walking.  Like she hoped, Casey began to follow her, teasingly bumping against her side.  "Casey, you are so sure of yourself.  You think every girl in the school wants you and would give anything just for you to say 'hi' to them in the halls."

"Hey, can you not handle the truth?"

"Casey, grow up!  You're not as great, wonderful, and wanted as you believe!  You're so aggravating that – "

"You like me, don't you?"

"Huh?"

Casey grinned.  "That's what this is all about.  You're jealous.  Whoa."

"I am _not_."

"Don't deny it, Stokes!" Casey sang, creeping in towards her.

"I…well…but…Humph!"  Stokely stalked off.

"Come on, Stokes, don't leave me like this!"

"Screw you…premenstrual jackass!"

"Stokely, you _know_ you can't stay mad at me…"

Stokely stopped walking and closed her eyes.  "Just leave."

"Come on, say it!"

"No."

"You know you want to!"

"Casey…"

"Say it, dammit."

"If I do, will you leave?"

"Ehh," Casey shrugged.

"Fine, I can't."

"'Atta girl!"

"Now flip off!"

"Will do!" Casey laughed as he jumped into his classroom right before the bell rang.  Stokely didn't look at him but smiled to herself.


	2. ChApTeR 2

Chapter 2 

Stokely walked into her first period class while the teacher was introducing a new student.  Stokely scrunched her nose at the new girl who wore nothing but black, which was in direct contrast to her shiny gold hair.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet your new classmate: Mary Beth Hutchison.  Please make her feel welcome."  The girl rolled her eyes at the teacher as Stokely took her seat.

Mary Beth then made her way to an empty desk, which just happened to be right next to the cheerleading captain.

Stokely turned to the girl when she sat down.  _Maybe I can talk some sense into this girl before she gets in with the wrong crowd, _Stokely thought.  "Hi!  I'm Stokely, head of the cheerleading squad," she said happily.

Mary Beth looked the cheerleader up and down, making faces of disgust.  "Fuck off," she said quite bluntly.

"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today!" Stokely said, as if the insult hadn't hurt her at all.  Mary Beth didn't answer but just gave Stokely the finger and then continued to ignore her.

_So much for that attempt,_ Stokely thought as she looked to the head of the room.

Just before the teacher was about to start class, someone knocked on the door.  The teacher went over and opened the door and a lonely-looking student with a camera walked in.

"Mr. Tate?" the photographer asked politely.  "I was wondering if I could take a picture of the class for the school newspaper."  Mr. Tate smiled at the student.

"Of course, Stan, go right ahead."

A few snickers and laughs came from some kids in the class, but Stan decided to ignore them.  He aimed his camera and clicked once – twice.  "Thanks!" he said enthusiastically as he walked out of the classroom.

"What a dork," Stokely commented, then went back to the fashion magazine she was reading.

"Ok class, settle down.  Your homework for last night was to read chapter 34 and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.  Please be so kind as to pass your homework forward.  If over 75% of the class actually did their homework, we'll do a fun class activity.  If not, we'll have a class discussion," Mr. Tate announced.

There was a rustling of papers and a few curses from random students as the class passed in their papers, looking hopefully at Mr. Tate.  The teacher counted the number of papers he received.  "Well it seems like we barely slipped in.  There's 76% of the class's homework here.  That's a new record; give yourselves a hand," he said, clapping sarcastically.

When a few half-hearted claps sounded, Mr. Tate stopped, cleared his throat, then began.  "Ok, now I want you to break into groups of four.  Two guys, two girls.  Please only _one_ cheerleader and _one_ football player to a group."  When groans interrupted him, he said, "I know, but it's crucial to the project.  Now, once you break up into your groups, you will each receive a handout detailing what you will be participating in.  Before we split up, can anyone briefly explain what you read last night?  Just to make sure everyone's on the same wavelength.  How about you, Stokely?"

"Wow, Mr. Tate, this is such an honor.  I can't believe you chose _me_ of all people!" Stokely gushed, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Stokely, please just give us the answer."

"Of course!  Last night's reading was on…voila!  Versace!"

"Um…no, that's not the answer I was looking for.  Anyone _else_ wish to take a stab at it?  How about Kandi?  Or should I just avoid the cheerleaders altogether?"

"Please do," Kandi said, making a bubble with her pink gum and twirling a piece of hair around her finger.  She grabbed Stokely's magazine and began to read it as Mr. Tate shook his head.  Just then a hand shot up.

"Uh, sir?  Last night we read about the Nazis and Hitler," a dark-haired boy said, pushing some bangs out of his face.

"Thank you, Zeke.  I'm glad to know that some people _remember_ what they read and answered for homework.  So, using that information, what do you think the activity will be?  Stokely?  Think you can get this one?"

"Well, Mr. Tate and fellow classmates, using my deductive abilities and pure, deranged dementia, I have concluded that the activity will be about one or more of the following:

World War Two The conquest of Europe and/or The Holocaust." 

Stokely finished her speech standing on her desk, pacing, and stabbing her finger in the air for emphasis.

"Thank you, Ms. Mitchell.  You seem to have actually gotten something out of this class."  Stokely grinned and Mr. Tate continued.  "Now, break up into your groups and please NO PUSHING THIS TIME!"

--- --- ---

A/N: Damn that was a short chapter!  Well I hope you liked it nonetheless.  Next chapter: LUNCH!  Lol.  Ri and I will try to get the next one out longer and as soon as possible.  Please feel free to give us ideas on how the story should go.  Who should be the "queen bee" of this attack?  Well review and give us feedback, we truly appreciate it!  We love you all!  ^.~

-Lindi, co-author


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